It was a strange day, 28th january of 2015. Everything was going just as randomly as all my days have ever been, that now there were visible patterns of randomness. Went to the internship in a far off village, drank lots of green tea because they were free (only because), ate the same shitty food and made a mental note to complain about this someday, came back to home changing three modes of transportation (to the dropping point via bus, then to my friend's house via his activa and then to my flat via mine). Everything normal, nothing that could force me to wake up from this strange fantasy that everything is good and happy and positive. but, nothing happens until something does.
on my way back home from gym, I was stopped by a girl, right at the corner of the square.
"could you help me out with something?"
"Sure" I said. I knew what she is going to ask for. What I didn't understand was why. She had a smartphone in her hand, she was dressed well and she did not look like the next door beggars I've come across on that very spot.
"Could you give me some money", She said. "Take my number, I would return your money on 1st"
I knew I had nothing with me. This was month's end and the cheque I got from the internship wasn't cashed as I was too lazy to go out to the bank. Still, i checked my pockets to be double sure and not to come across as rude and indifferent. I had to really sound true and convincing when I said,
"Sorry but I don't have anything with me right now"
She looked here and there. I could see she was hungry. I could see that the problem, whatever it was, was genuine. I knew that if I walk away right now, I would probably forget about her in an hour or two, when AIB knockout goes live. I have practised being indifferent so many times before, it would have been a piece of cake. But for change, I thought I'd not move until I see this girl walking away with some money to buy food, at least for the time being.
I called my roommate, but I knew he is in even deeper penury than me. As expected. I looked in her eyes and I saw hope. I couldn't have let her stand there alone waiting for someone to listen to her, believe her story and lend her some money.
I called another friend of mine whom I go to gym with. I knew he was about to go to a certain place for dinner and the route included where I was standing. I asked him to bring as much money he could possible do without. We agreed on a hundred.
It was going to take some time for him to arrive. I turned to her and asked:
"what happened?"
I thought she would tear up at that. Imagining her situation and what she must be going through, I myself was tearing up a little. But nope, not a single tear. Her eyes just shined behind those thick spectacles. her expression, not a bit changed. No gratitude, no remorse. Just a tingling, maybe of happiness, maybe of hunger.
"My money got spent. All of it. And my father is in very much trouble (she described the trouble a little bit, but I didn't catch it at the first time and never bothered to ask twice). I will get some by 1st feb. I will pay you back as soon as I get some."
"Don't worry about that. How did it get spent? Is there any problem?"
It was something that doesn't fit well into my schedule. She was fluent in english all this time, which cleared any doubt left in my mind about her genuinity. I was being pushy, because I was intruiged by how life could turn things upside down to this level.
She was from Ranchi. She mentioned her father a couple of times. She was doing MBA finance from some college in the outskirts of the city. She was in the last semester, unplaced, so she had to move here in the city to look for a job. She was sharing a room with her friend, but it was really congested so she was thinking about moving to a cheap PG.
"nobody is paying more than 10k around here. And you know how expensive it is to live in this city. Previously I had to go back and forth from my college to here for interviews and all that so I thought about shifting here only."
And here I was, not even sitting for Jobs that payed 20k.
My friend rode in with another friend sitting behind him and asked about this urgent need that I did not give him ample time to shit. I unconsiously pointed at her and described the problem in least possible words.
The friend sitting behind him asked if she was my sister or something. Maybe, I replied in my mind while I gave a twitch an let them go.
I came to her, gave her that single note of hundred that must have meant a lot to her. I asked her to give me a call anytime, at any hour of the day, and I promised her I would help her as much as I can. I took her number, just in case I need to check on her (I also made a mental note to check this number on truecaller for one last assurance. I never did.)
I warned her not to stand and ask for money around this area. If it has to come down to this, I could make do with a little less money in my pocket. As she was about to cross the road, I shouted to her to eat something. Foolish on my case, as she was already running towards a bakery on the other side. I remember her telling that she hasn't eaten anything since morning.
It might have happened that she got more money from somebody else, If I had gone my way. The reason for me to stay was more selfish than humanitarian. But in the end, I helped the universe feed a hungry body, hers. And I helped the universe feed a hungry soul, mine.
Today I understood clearly what this quote by Morticia Addams actually means:
"What is normal for spider is chaos for butterfly"
If I lose a hundred bucks somewhere, It'd be normal for me. yes I would feel bad, but I would promise myself to be more careful for the rest of my life and this time I might as well be for a day or two, but in the end I would forget the incident forever.
But if while crossing that road, she loses that hundred bucks amidst the heavy traffic, You can just imagine the heart-shuddering chaos that will emerge inside her.
The point of the whole story is: We are doomed. YES WE ARE. of one thing or the other, of love or of money, of health or of something else. we do not know where our life is going, we are not sure. And we are afraid. Of if we are going to get a job, of getting a good spouse, of making a big house. but in the process we forget that somewhere there is a laughing child who hasn't eaten since two days and his dad has just brought half a pack of bread.
TRUST ME PEOPLE.
If you are reading this, you have come a long way. you might still have a long way to go, but sit on the next bench and watch children play. go to a zoo. stop worrying about life so much, its anyways going to bring a lot of blows until it brings doom. There is no reason not to bloom like a flower, except that the doom is anyways going to destroy the flower and the thorn alike.
on my way back home from gym, I was stopped by a girl, right at the corner of the square.
"could you help me out with something?"
"Sure" I said. I knew what she is going to ask for. What I didn't understand was why. She had a smartphone in her hand, she was dressed well and she did not look like the next door beggars I've come across on that very spot.
"Could you give me some money", She said. "Take my number, I would return your money on 1st"
I knew I had nothing with me. This was month's end and the cheque I got from the internship wasn't cashed as I was too lazy to go out to the bank. Still, i checked my pockets to be double sure and not to come across as rude and indifferent. I had to really sound true and convincing when I said,
"Sorry but I don't have anything with me right now"
She looked here and there. I could see she was hungry. I could see that the problem, whatever it was, was genuine. I knew that if I walk away right now, I would probably forget about her in an hour or two, when AIB knockout goes live. I have practised being indifferent so many times before, it would have been a piece of cake. But for change, I thought I'd not move until I see this girl walking away with some money to buy food, at least for the time being.
I called my roommate, but I knew he is in even deeper penury than me. As expected. I looked in her eyes and I saw hope. I couldn't have let her stand there alone waiting for someone to listen to her, believe her story and lend her some money.
I called another friend of mine whom I go to gym with. I knew he was about to go to a certain place for dinner and the route included where I was standing. I asked him to bring as much money he could possible do without. We agreed on a hundred.
It was going to take some time for him to arrive. I turned to her and asked:
"what happened?"
I thought she would tear up at that. Imagining her situation and what she must be going through, I myself was tearing up a little. But nope, not a single tear. Her eyes just shined behind those thick spectacles. her expression, not a bit changed. No gratitude, no remorse. Just a tingling, maybe of happiness, maybe of hunger.
"My money got spent. All of it. And my father is in very much trouble (she described the trouble a little bit, but I didn't catch it at the first time and never bothered to ask twice). I will get some by 1st feb. I will pay you back as soon as I get some."
"Don't worry about that. How did it get spent? Is there any problem?"
It was something that doesn't fit well into my schedule. She was fluent in english all this time, which cleared any doubt left in my mind about her genuinity. I was being pushy, because I was intruiged by how life could turn things upside down to this level.
She was from Ranchi. She mentioned her father a couple of times. She was doing MBA finance from some college in the outskirts of the city. She was in the last semester, unplaced, so she had to move here in the city to look for a job. She was sharing a room with her friend, but it was really congested so she was thinking about moving to a cheap PG.
"nobody is paying more than 10k around here. And you know how expensive it is to live in this city. Previously I had to go back and forth from my college to here for interviews and all that so I thought about shifting here only."
And here I was, not even sitting for Jobs that payed 20k.
My friend rode in with another friend sitting behind him and asked about this urgent need that I did not give him ample time to shit. I unconsiously pointed at her and described the problem in least possible words.
The friend sitting behind him asked if she was my sister or something. Maybe, I replied in my mind while I gave a twitch an let them go.
I came to her, gave her that single note of hundred that must have meant a lot to her. I asked her to give me a call anytime, at any hour of the day, and I promised her I would help her as much as I can. I took her number, just in case I need to check on her (I also made a mental note to check this number on truecaller for one last assurance. I never did.)
I warned her not to stand and ask for money around this area. If it has to come down to this, I could make do with a little less money in my pocket. As she was about to cross the road, I shouted to her to eat something. Foolish on my case, as she was already running towards a bakery on the other side. I remember her telling that she hasn't eaten anything since morning.
It might have happened that she got more money from somebody else, If I had gone my way. The reason for me to stay was more selfish than humanitarian. But in the end, I helped the universe feed a hungry body, hers. And I helped the universe feed a hungry soul, mine.
Today I understood clearly what this quote by Morticia Addams actually means:
"What is normal for spider is chaos for butterfly"
If I lose a hundred bucks somewhere, It'd be normal for me. yes I would feel bad, but I would promise myself to be more careful for the rest of my life and this time I might as well be for a day or two, but in the end I would forget the incident forever.
But if while crossing that road, she loses that hundred bucks amidst the heavy traffic, You can just imagine the heart-shuddering chaos that will emerge inside her.
The point of the whole story is: We are doomed. YES WE ARE. of one thing or the other, of love or of money, of health or of something else. we do not know where our life is going, we are not sure. And we are afraid. Of if we are going to get a job, of getting a good spouse, of making a big house. but in the process we forget that somewhere there is a laughing child who hasn't eaten since two days and his dad has just brought half a pack of bread.
TRUST ME PEOPLE.
If you are reading this, you have come a long way. you might still have a long way to go, but sit on the next bench and watch children play. go to a zoo. stop worrying about life so much, its anyways going to bring a lot of blows until it brings doom. There is no reason not to bloom like a flower, except that the doom is anyways going to destroy the flower and the thorn alike.
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